Bigger is apparently better for a family of 11 in Fox Chapel.
“I always wanted a big family,” said Stephanie Wilkinson, wife and mother to nine biological children she’s raising with her husband, Jim. “I told my mom I wanted at least eight kids.”
The Wilkinson children, four boys and five girls, range in age from 16 months to 18.
Their brood includes Christian, 18; twins Taylor and Caylie, 16; Tommy, 13; Carter, 11; Elyse, 8; Nikki, 6; Mason, aka Marv, 3; and Ensley, 16 months.
“Basically, my whole goal in life for them is to have so many best friends,” Stephanie said.
Family pets include a bunny named Squirrel, JJ the golden doodle, Belle the dog and George the miniature dachshund.
Jim and Stephanie were introduced through mutual friends while Stephanie attended Shady Side Academy.
The couple had their firstborn son, Christian, when Stephanie was 19. The couple married when she was 21.
Christian is a freshman at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, where he’s majoring in special education..
He flew the coop this fall but chimed in during a recent visit home for Thanksgiving break.
“It was easy to find my major since I’ve been around younger kids so much. Being older gave me experience and helped my path,” he said. “Being alone in the dorm is a bit of a struggle — the alone time — and I’ve never really had much personal space.”
Two trampolines amid the toys in the large backyard are hard to miss when visiting the family.
A hot tub sits at the ready on the back patio — its steam gently escaping from the cover — and is a favorite family amenity.
“Welcome to the house of chaos,” dad Jim joked as he welcomed a reporter into the spacious home on 2 acres off Fox Chapel Road.
But there was little chaos to be had as the family gathered around to dish on daily life of living large.
In 2023, the average number of children under the age of 18 per family was 1.9, a decrease from 2.3 children in 1960, according to data from Statista.
Hands-on parenting
The couple doesn’t rely on nannies, maids or hired help.
The question fielded the most by Stephanie revolves around numbers.
“Are you done?” folks ask. “Every time. I feel very content and happy, but the kids say we need 10,” said Stephanie, 38.
Jim, 40, pointed out that once you have a lot of kids, it really isn’t any that different.
“Once you have three, I think it’s all the same — once you’re outnumbered,” he joked.
Mary Arena Hagan of O’Hara is “Mimi” to her grandchildren and sees the family daily.
Hagan recalled her daughter’s desire for a large family.
“She said that from the time she was a little girl, and I told her good luck finding a guy that wants that many children,” Hagan said.
Hagan, who lives 2 miles away, pitches in primarily with driving duties, along with her husband, Chris, aka Pop-Pop.
“They’re all going different places in different directions,” Hagan said of her grandchildren’s busy sports schedules.
As for offering parenting advice, Hagan takes a hands-off approach.
“I keep my mouth shut. They do a very good job on their own with the children. We leave it up to them,” Hagan said.
Folks also inquire about Stephanie’s birthing stories.
“I’ve had a lot of different childbirths, C-section and natural,” she said. “They ask about that all the time.”
The couple chose Stephanie’s neighborhood to raise their family, and they moved from Greensburg to Fox Chapel 18 years ago.
A registered nurse, Stephanie works from home as a part-time nurse case manager, and Jim works in the finance industry.
Stephanie earned a nursing degree from Ohio University. Jim graduated with a nursing undergraduate degree and, later, a business degree from Lafayette College.
Logistics on a large scale
Transportation is a big component of navigating life with a mega-sized family.
The family has two vehicles, one that includes a 12-passenger van that can accommodate the entire family.
Jim’s friends often ask how he can he handle so many offspring.
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“I’m pretty laid back, and you have to let some of the little, simple things go. We just can’t worry about those,” Jim said.
“Priorities are different. We look at things probably a little differently than families with one or two children.”
Organization is key, Stephanie said, to running a large household, but the couple maintains a relaxed approach to parenting.
Household chores are prioritized, and dirty laundry tops the list of daily chores.
“You have to do at least three loads a day, or you’ll pay for it,” Stephanie said.
Feeding the family is made easier by having their food purchases delivered via Instacart.
The couple quit going to the grocery store and love having the food just show up at their doorstep.
“I like taco Tuesdays,” said Nikki, 6.
Family outings to restaurants are infrequent, except during vacations.
The children are enrolled in the Fox Chapel Area School District.
Morning and afternoon school bus duties are the most hectic times while school is in session.
The children share bedrooms and bathrooms in the six-bedroom, five-bathroom residence.
The couple said the biggest challenge to parenting is carving out individual time with each child.
“Getting the one-on-one time,” Stephanie said. “But that’s all they’ve known. But the trade-off is that they have each other.”
Jim said they’re in a new family phase with Christian going off to college and the twins at driving age.
Everyone pitches in to help each other.
“They are mature and they get up and play, know certain routines that need to happen, and they just do their thing,” Stephanie said.
Frequent travel related to school and sports teams are the biggest time component of daily family life.
Baseball, soccer, basketball and cheerleading are four sports enjoyed by the majority of the kids.
No set bedtimes and a relaxed home environment is important to the couple.
The fall and spring sports schedule affects dinnertime and bedtimes often, they said.
“We have a routine but not a schedule, if that makes sense,” Stephanie said.
Road trips for various travel team-related sports have included destinations such as Arizona, Washington, Texas and the family condo in Florida.
Hagan noted her son-in-law and daughter make a great parenting team.
“They’re patient. They don’t lose control, even-tempered, and they work together raising the kids,” Hagan said of her daughter and son-in-law.
”She’s much more organized than I ever was. She’s pretty amazing,” Hagan said.