Among those dumb enough to still care about the Pirates, there’s a big clamor to fire GM Ben Cherington and manager Derek Shelton.
Cherington and Shelton should get sacked. The citizens are correct.
But doing so changes nothing. Whoever replaces Cherington and Shelton would be the next Cherington and Shelton: Low-budget and incompetent.
The purpose of termination would be to temporarily placate and distract the great unwashed, then carry on with the business of stealing their money.
The dopey duo’s litany of failure is perversely impressive, not least recently:
• The Pirates entered Tuesday’s game at 12-24, their worst start since 2006. They’ve lost five straight and eight of nine.
• One of America’s best ballparks has adopted a bleak, funereal, sometimes hostile atmosphere. That seems impossible.
• The Pirates have been shut out six times, most in MLB.
• The Pirates have grounded into double plays 36 times, most in MLB.
• The Clemente logo and Bucco bricks fiascos happened on their watch. Not their fault, but they absorbed the stench.
• Their developmental process is exemplified by Henry Davis, a wasted first pick overall. Even Paul Skenes is fading. Maybe the Pirates can yet ruin him.
• Embarrassing miscues occur constantly: Losing on a wild pitch, getting picked off second base, baserunning blunders, throws to the wrong base. Too many to mention.
Indeed, it’s hard to detail this six-year reign of error: So much bad has happened and keeps happening, almost on a nightly basis.
As Dalton said in “Road House,” “It’s amazing what you can get used to.” (Then he killed everybody. Dalton should be the next Pirates GM.)
The stooge media should stop covering the Pirates like a competitive entity. Report on them like Three Mile Island or the end of the Vietnam War. An ongoing disaster.
Every sports organization has different policies for hiring and firing.
If Aaron Rodgers doesn’t come to Pittsburgh and the Steelers are left with Mason Rudolph at quarterback, somebody should get fired. But nobody ever does.
The Penguins let coach Mike Sullivan go. That probably should have happened a few years ago. President of hockey ops/GM Kyle Dubas is smart and efficient. Trust his process. Unless the next coach is some rando from Dubas’ native Sault Ste. Marie. That can be his default mechanism.
With the Pirates, it’s all about money. Duh.
Nobody knows how much time Cherington and Shelton have left on their contracts, or how much they make. Nutting abhors paying anybody anything, let alone to not work.
But if their deals expire at season’s end, Cherington and Shelton could be fired soon. For PR’s sake. A sacrificial lamb seems required.
The Pirates are 306-438 since Cherington and Shelton assumed their jobs. That’s a winning percentage of .411. To lose that much and be employed that long is unthinkable.
But whether Cherington and Shelton are fired or not, nothing will change.
The Pirates’ root problem is ownership that won’t spend sufficiently and doesn’t prioritize winning. Every single other problem trickles down from there.
The notion that the Pirates could have hired Terry Francona as manager this past offseason had they fired Shelton is laughable.
Why would the best manager of his era end his retirement to work for MLB’s worst organization? Any manager or GM that can do better is going to. (Anyplace is better than the Pirates.)
But the Pirates’ PR machine has another false dawn to sell.
Pitching prospect Hunter Barco just got promoted to Triple-A. He’s gathering hype.
The Pirates will be great when Bubba Chandler gets to Pittsburgh.
If not, the Pirates will be great when Barco gets to Pittsburgh.
But Skenes is better than Chandler and Barco, he’s in Pittsburgh now, and the Pirates still aren’t great.
It’s all very confusing.
Except it’s not.