CUP OF JOE: Starkey on sports in 350 words or less (or more, in this case)

Cup of Joe

Silly question, but might there be reasons why people keep attacking Buffalo Sabres defenseman Rasmus Dahlin? And might one of those reasons be that Dahlin specializes in sneak-attack crosschecks from behind?

Nah. It’s probably just a coincidence that Auston Matthews, David Pastrnak, Evgeni Malkin, Brandon Hagel and a multitude of others have all reacted so violently to Dahlin.

He must be an innocent victim. Poor guy. He’d never bait anyone. He’d never wield his stick like a weapon. I’m sorry I even had the thought.

So let’s change our focus to the acts perpetrated upon Dahlin — and let’s marvel at the eternal ineptitude of the NHL Department of Player Safety, headed by former NHL thug George Parros (1,092 career penalty minutes, 18 goals), who once launched a T-shirt line called “Violent Gentlemen.”

The two latest Dahlin-related incidents happened in four days. The first was Thursday, when Malkin responded to Dahlin’s nasty crosschecks with a chopping stick blow that glanced off the side of Dahlin’s head, mostly catching his shoulder. Dahlin wasn’t injured. Malkin was ejected from the game and suspended for five games.

Three days later, Hagel committed an act infinitely more dangerous and was suspended for … let me double-check … zero games.

After absorbing a crosscheck to the back, Hagel started punching Dahlin from behind. The final haymaker landed as Dahlin was falling, his head inches from the ice.

That could have been catastrophic. It could have been the kind of incident that wound up in national news headlines, maybe even a courtroom. Yet, somehow, Hagel was allowed to return to the game, and Parros merely issued him a fine of $5,000. No suspension.

How is that possible?

What could Parros possibly have been looking at?

As long-time hockey scribe Ken Campbell tweeted, “More outstanding work by George ‘The Violent Gentleman’ Parros and his cabal of mayhem lovers in NHL Player Safety. Best game, worst league.”

All of which is not to absolve Malkin. He deserved a suspension. But five games, in addition to missing most of the game from which he was ejected, was a joke. For one thing, the league has always factored in whether the victim was injured. The victim in this case was not.

Some laughably likened Malkin’s chop to the baseball-style stick swing Marty McSorley put on Donald Brashear all those years ago. It wasn’t in the same universe as that. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the full swing then-Rangers defenseman Jacob Trouba put on Boston’s Trent Frederic a few years ago, either, cracking Frederic in the back of the head.

Trouba, a noted head hunter, received only a $5,000 fine for that incident. How did we go from $5,000 to a five-game suspension for a stick to the head?

And how did Hagel get off scot-free?

Those are questions Parros should have to answer, and they should be asked again the next time somebody attacks poor, innocent Rasmus Dahlin.