The Pirates have not only collapsed, but they also have lost games in grand fashion.
On Wednesday, the Pirates led Chicago, 10-3, at PNC Park but got beat 14-10. That was an award winner, exploding sewer pipe division.
It had so many great elements:
• Hottie gymnast Livvy Dunne pops off on X after boyfriend Paul Skenes’ solid start gets wasted.
• Pirates one out away from victory, but closer David Bednar implodes.
• Bad fielding at a crucial juncture: Shortstop Isiah Kiner-Falefa whiffs on Chicago’s go-ahead “hit” in the ninth inning. IKF looked like Roger Dorn doing the “ole!” in “Major League.”
• Oneil Cruz makes an error in his first game playing center field.
• A feeling of impending doom, even when the Pirates still “safely” led.
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That loss drove veteran announcer Greg Brown to spewing post-game pessimism. Yikes.
Don’t blame Brownie. He’s almost always a reasonable optimist. That loss would have made Tony Robbins weep.
It’s not a complicated situation. The Pirates’ problems are easy to figure.
The biggest problem is payroll. It’s $84.6 million, second-lowest in baseball. The Pirates have about half of a legit MLB roster.
The second-biggest problem is player development. Exhibit A: Henry Davis. Davis was picked first in the 2021 MLB draft. But the Pirates had no position for him, no plan. It’s 2024. He should be batting cleanup and socking home runs. Instead, Davis looks like a 4-A player who won’t ever make big-league impact.
You can’t blow it with a 1/1. But the Pirates have.
The third-biggest problem is manager Derek Shelton. He’s rotten. He gives the Pirates zero chance to overachieve.
After those issues, you’ve got to drill down deep. Almost nitpick.
Ke’Bryan Hayes isn’t good and is reportedly dealing with chronic back ailment. He’s on an eight-year, $70 million contract that runs through 2029 with a club option for 2030.
When you only pay a few players decent money on long-term deals, you can’t miss with any. The Pirates missed with Hayes.
Bednar has been awful: 6.32 ERA, seven losses, six blown saves. He’s made “Renegade” into a funeral dirge.
A borderline playoff contender can’t give back wins. Bednar does that too often.
But payroll is, by far, the biggest problem, to the point of overwhelming everything else.
Too many con themselves into thinking an incredibly low payroll can somehow be conquered. The Pirates are selling hope, and you want so badly to buy.
Some teams win with lower payrolls. But they have better player development, and when the team starts to get close, payroll gets bumped. Talent gets added.
It’s literally impossible to win when you have MLB’s second-lowest payroll and you mangle the development of a 1/1 like Davis.
You can fantasize about pitching prospect Bubba Chandler being in the pipeline or whatever.
But the Pirates added Skenes this season. He may already be MLB’s best pitcher.
The Pirates are going to finish with a worse record than last season. That’s despite getting Skenes.
The Pirates will never win.
Because the organization isn’t designed to win.
Dunne gets it. I like her.
When the Pirates were collapsing Wednesday, Dunne tweeted a gif of her boyfriend saying, “You gotta be kidding me.” She added a subtitle. It was in the Pirates’ font. Nice touch.
That video wasn’t from that day. That makes it even funnier. Wednesday wasn’t Skenes’ first rodeo.
Dunne might not be Taylor Swift. But the Pirates aren’t the Kansas City Chiefs, either.
In football, the Chiefs are a destination.
In baseball, the Pirates are a stopover. Especially for a talent like Skenes. He and Dunne are already plotting their escape.